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Tag Archives: satire

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New story on Medium about the dark side of #PSL season.

The last Instagram photo Kimberly Reynolds ever posted was of a pumpkin spice latte.

It’s still there on her Instagram account. Like all of her photos, it’s carefully arranged and brightly lit. The black mug of coffee sits on a clean white tablecloth, with the handle pointing down and to the right, towards five o’clock. There’s a sprinkle of spice on top of the latte foam, like a fresh dusting of cinnamon-and-nutmeg snow. A single homemade biscotti, with a single bite taken out, runs parallel to the frame.

“#Homemade #PumpkinSpiceLatte,” reads the caption. “Is there a better way to start a #Saturday?”

An hour after she posted that photo, Kimberly Reynolds was dead.

She got 53 likes.

Read “Cinnamon Kill” on Medium

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New story in the publication Weird, recommended by the staff at Medium:

The ideal solution was one that prevented the spread of the infection while avoiding casualties, and also led to rehabilitation if possible. The problem with finding a cure for the infection was that no one could get close to it without falling victim – becoming, as one military doctor put it, “a drooling amalgam of cute phrases and insipid iconography, held together only by poor grammar.” With no choice but to watch via satellite asthe conditions in the city deteriorated and the infection spread, a decisive strike became more and more likely.

Read “Cute Overload” at Weird

photo by Gage Skidmore

New humor piece on Medium:

“These quote-unquote ‘superheroes’ are just another group of non-hard-working, non-job-creating moochers taking handouts from the bloated, over-regulated government,” he said. “I’ve met Tony Stark, he’s a nice guy, but he’s no hero. Hulk? Put a shirt on! A bunch of liberal-media-darlings, put together by ‘Comrade’ Nick Fury to take the focus off the real heroes: millionaires creating American jobs by building golf courses in other countries.”

Read “Donald Trump: The Avengers are ‘Not Real Superheroes'” on Medium

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I’m honored that my story “Elvie the Elf from Accounting Learns the True Meaning of Christmas” is one of today’s “Staff Picks” on Medium, featured on the homepage and in their daily email!

It’s a story about class warfare at the North Pole and the true meaning of Christmas and elves trying to sleep with each other.

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the North Pole’s management offices, mid- and upper-level elves were getting tight on eggnog. The annual Christmas party was the social event of the season, and most of the elves had quit putting in long days of hard work sometime in mid-November, just to be prepared. Now all the heavy lifting — both literal and figurative — was being handled by the hourly elves in the toy shop, working mandatory overtime to complement their meager wages.

Thanks to Medium for the support and the yuletidiest of nice surprises on Christmas morning!

Read “Elvie the Elf from Accounting Learns the True Meaning of Christmas” at Medium